They say, love at first sight is never true.
I say, they are wrong because true love hit me the moment I saw Adriel.
I enjoyed pregnancy so much that I am even missing it now.
When I was full term pregnant, I was so excited to see my baby. Which mother is not? So, I instructed my boyfriend to take a picture of our baby the moment he'd be out. Everything went well from my admission to labor (labor is so, so painful by the way that I had to ask for epidural analgesia, and I'm so proud of moms that didn't).
The moment my baby was about to be out, everything went in slow motion. Th doctor pulled the baby, placed it on top of my tummy, and.... he did not cry. The pediatrician tried to wake my baby up but he just didn't. He was just lying there on my tummy, not moving, AT ALL. I didn't know what to think that time, maybe also because of exhaustion but primarily because of shock. The next thing I heard was the voice of the anesthesiologist asking for an ambu bag. Ambu bag, am I having a nightmare? I am a nurse by profession and I have worked as a delivery room nurse on the same hospital where I gave birth. SO the word ambu bag was the last hing I wanted to hear.
I was just staring at the group of people encircling the radiant warmer where my baby was placed. I still cannot see him at that time, until I heard his first cry. It was very weak but I was sure I heard him. He was immediately rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for stabilization. I caught a glimpse of him just before the door closed in...
I was not expecting to see his cleft lip and palate. I stared at the delivery room's closed already doors for a few seconds, and with the image of him, my exhaustion put me to sleep, or was it Dormicum? Lol! I wasn't sure.
The moment I woke up, I was inside the recovery room with the resident doctor checking me up. The first question I asked was if my baby was fine. I was somehow mad at myself for falling asleep but I guess my own body shut me out of exhaustion and shock. The doctor said that he was already fine and that he was now for observation. I felt overjoyed hearing those words. At that time, his birth defect didn't matter to me. All that mattered was him being fine, breathing and alive.
I wanted to go to the NICU and cuddle him but I couldn't, I was still very weak and sore.
When I was wheeled to my room, I immediately told my boyfriend that I wanted to go down to the NICU to see the baby. He said it was midnight and I needed to rest. The analgesics already wore off at that time and my perineum is so much painful but I just can not sleep without seeing him first. I literally begged my boyfriend to come with me to the NICU.
Adriel was on the radiant warmer when I arrived. I stood up from the wheelchair and sat on the high chair near him while holding back my tears. The pain on my perineum was getting worse, (I had 4th degree laceration, and I still haven't had my first dose of oral pain reliever at that time.) but seeing him was the best feeling I ever felt. Bliss, pure bliss. He was there. Lying down blinking and moving...
I guess love is really blind. I see no flaws, no defects not one imperfection, and then, I finally cried because of so much happiness.
The next days and weeks were such a struggle. Adriel can not feed properly after being discharged from the hospital so he had mild dehydration. I won't go over the details anymore because this post is long enough, but I had to rush him to my pediatrician 3 days after he was out of the hospital.
After those days, I took extra care of him so that he won't get sick in time for his first surgery. I fed him properly and made sure he won't catch any colds.
But life is just so unpredictable, two weeks before his scheduled check-up for surgery, he had diarrhea, cough plus colds. His diarrhea didn't go away very easily even after medications were given plus he vomits every time he coughs. All these resulted to a decrease in body weight and moderate dehydration. His diarrhea lasted for more than two weeks, it breaks my heart to see him vomit a lot of times in a day and pass out watery stools at the same time. All those months, all those months of extra care just ended up with Adriel still being sick. I didn't know what to do or think anymore.
He became dehydrated so my pediatrician decided to have Adriel admitted.
After 5 days, he was sent home. I made sure he'd fully recover at home so I took extra measures to aid his fast recovery.
His scheduled check-up was then moved to the next month because his weight won't let him qualify.
So, I let go, with or without surgery,the important thing is, Adriel is finally getting back into shape. That's the only thing I want right now.
Adriel being sick for almost three weeks was not easy for me. I got so anxious the whole time, I got frustrated every time he vomited or passed out stool. I was really going towards the door to insanity. Well, thankfully I didn't. I guess mom's do that all the time. You know, worry, A LOT. Lol! Or that's just me. Hehehe! And mind you, I don't like to worry! It drives me crazy!
So, anyway, this mother's day, I'll be celebrating it with the person who gave me so much strength I never thought I'll ever have. I wouldn't have a blog if it weren't for Adriel.
And to all mothers, I salute each and everyone of you. Raising children is never easy. It takes hard work, a whole lot of patience, insane strength and immeasurable love.
I say, they are wrong because true love hit me the moment I saw Adriel.
I enjoyed pregnancy so much that I am even missing it now.
When I was full term pregnant, I was so excited to see my baby. Which mother is not? So, I instructed my boyfriend to take a picture of our baby the moment he'd be out. Everything went well from my admission to labor (labor is so, so painful by the way that I had to ask for epidural analgesia, and I'm so proud of moms that didn't).
The moment my baby was about to be out, everything went in slow motion. Th doctor pulled the baby, placed it on top of my tummy, and.... he did not cry. The pediatrician tried to wake my baby up but he just didn't. He was just lying there on my tummy, not moving, AT ALL. I didn't know what to think that time, maybe also because of exhaustion but primarily because of shock. The next thing I heard was the voice of the anesthesiologist asking for an ambu bag. Ambu bag, am I having a nightmare? I am a nurse by profession and I have worked as a delivery room nurse on the same hospital where I gave birth. SO the word ambu bag was the last hing I wanted to hear.
I was just staring at the group of people encircling the radiant warmer where my baby was placed. I still cannot see him at that time, until I heard his first cry. It was very weak but I was sure I heard him. He was immediately rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for stabilization. I caught a glimpse of him just before the door closed in...
I was not expecting to see his cleft lip and palate. I stared at the delivery room's closed already doors for a few seconds, and with the image of him, my exhaustion put me to sleep, or was it Dormicum? Lol! I wasn't sure.
The moment I woke up, I was inside the recovery room with the resident doctor checking me up. The first question I asked was if my baby was fine. I was somehow mad at myself for falling asleep but I guess my own body shut me out of exhaustion and shock. The doctor said that he was already fine and that he was now for observation. I felt overjoyed hearing those words. At that time, his birth defect didn't matter to me. All that mattered was him being fine, breathing and alive.
I wanted to go to the NICU and cuddle him but I couldn't, I was still very weak and sore.
When I was wheeled to my room, I immediately told my boyfriend that I wanted to go down to the NICU to see the baby. He said it was midnight and I needed to rest. The analgesics already wore off at that time and my perineum is so much painful but I just can not sleep without seeing him first. I literally begged my boyfriend to come with me to the NICU.
Adriel was on the radiant warmer when I arrived. I stood up from the wheelchair and sat on the high chair near him while holding back my tears. The pain on my perineum was getting worse, (I had 4th degree laceration, and I still haven't had my first dose of oral pain reliever at that time.) but seeing him was the best feeling I ever felt. Bliss, pure bliss. He was there. Lying down blinking and moving...
 |
| I couldn't help but smile despite the pain. |
I guess love is really blind. I see no flaws, no defects not one imperfection, and then, I finally cried because of so much happiness.
The next days and weeks were such a struggle. Adriel can not feed properly after being discharged from the hospital so he had mild dehydration. I won't go over the details anymore because this post is long enough, but I had to rush him to my pediatrician 3 days after he was out of the hospital.
After those days, I took extra care of him so that he won't get sick in time for his first surgery. I fed him properly and made sure he won't catch any colds.
But life is just so unpredictable, two weeks before his scheduled check-up for surgery, he had diarrhea, cough plus colds. His diarrhea didn't go away very easily even after medications were given plus he vomits every time he coughs. All these resulted to a decrease in body weight and moderate dehydration. His diarrhea lasted for more than two weeks, it breaks my heart to see him vomit a lot of times in a day and pass out watery stools at the same time. All those months, all those months of extra care just ended up with Adriel still being sick. I didn't know what to do or think anymore.
He became dehydrated so my pediatrician decided to have Adriel admitted.
 |
| Yes it was Manny's fight against Mayweather and we watched it from the hospital! |
His scheduled check-up was then moved to the next month because his weight won't let him qualify.
So, I let go, with or without surgery,the important thing is, Adriel is finally getting back into shape. That's the only thing I want right now.
Adriel being sick for almost three weeks was not easy for me. I got so anxious the whole time, I got frustrated every time he vomited or passed out stool. I was really going towards the door to insanity. Well, thankfully I didn't. I guess mom's do that all the time. You know, worry, A LOT. Lol! Or that's just me. Hehehe! And mind you, I don't like to worry! It drives me crazy!
So, anyway, this mother's day, I'll be celebrating it with the person who gave me so much strength I never thought I'll ever have. I wouldn't have a blog if it weren't for Adriel.
And to all mothers, I salute each and everyone of you. Raising children is never easy. It takes hard work, a whole lot of patience, insane strength and immeasurable love.
Happy Mother's Day!!!
3 comments:
Inspiring Yein..Happy mother's day
Inspiring Yein..Happy mother's day
Tnx gel. :)
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